Had a brilliant Christmas day, tiring at times. I over slept, didn't hear my alarm (as usual) but got up at 10am. Had a very busy day, our visitors arrived at 4pm and left just after midnight.
As soon as they got back, text us they got home safe I went to bed.
I was exhausted.
Boxing day I woke up with cold symptoms and it took me all day to realise it was the FMS.
I am full of cold now, tired all the time as the blog suggests and generally sleeping a lot. I slept 16 hours on boxing day but nonetheless we had ten gorgeous puppies born to us.
I hope everyone's had a beautiful very merry Christmas, my love to all.
Here's to a happy (pain-free) new year.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Friday, 9 September 2011
I have the operation!
I would firstly like to thank my parents for making such a very long commitment, Mum has her own health issues and came over here (leaving at 05:00am) to get here for 06:00am, and then Dad rushed off to get into work for only 45 minutes later... then Mum had the girls all day long (and we all know what Meghan's like!) even suffered a mid-morning hypo (she's diabetic) because she was more focussed on the kids than herself, thankfully she managed to pull herself out the hypo, I guess that comes with years experience of such a dreadful illlness, and went on to look after the kids.. That's real trooper spirit! Dad then came back straight from work, had some tea then got back home for 11pm - He had to get up for 5am the next morning too! Bless him, not easy on any of them!
Then Becca, a neighbour as she had the boys from 06:00am until 19:00 - even had tea! Dean went round there to collect them after I got in, and settled, poor Bec answered the door with a pot of potatoes in her hand! Bless!! She even made the boys some lovely chocolate cakes.. Bless!
Without the practical support of my family and friends I couldn't of gone through with this!
Then I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for the very logical thoughts of good luck via the internet.. I had a lot of messages flood my status, profile, inbox and group! Thank you everyone!
Well we left here at around 06:30 (perhaps a little later) we made it into hospital at 07:30am for admission, Receptionist ticked off my name and showed me to my bed.
At 08:00 I was so nervous I went to the loo, I was ill.
Then half an hour later was asked for a sample, even though I was on my period... oh well, managed to drain a little bit more out!
I then had checks done like weight, blood pressure (which was /85), sats too.
I then asked 'Any idea where I am on the list?'
The reply was, your first to go down at 09:00am - Thank the Lord!
I had some 'magic cream' put on my hands because Dean told them of my needle phobia, even though she completely missed the veins - silly woman.
The consultant then came round, we had a chat about what was happening, then he mentioned the Mirena.
I said that I didn't want it any more, that I thought wiser of the artificial hormones and even then the removal scares me, he then said if it comes to it, he will remove it under a general and he promised me that! I then asked about my first smear being done under the general, I then told him I was menstruating, and he said it couldn't be done while I was bleeding.
I agreed to the mirena because a lot of other women who have this much pain through their cycle and decided what the hell! If it works, it works and artificial hormones vs the pain I was in for 90% of my cycle, ANYDAY! I am never one for taking tablets easily, and readily so it took a lot of pain to make me agree to it, believe me.
At around 09:30 I was taken to theatre, felt like a race course left, right left, right - and then we got into theatre. I had a gas induction which meant I didn't feel the IV being set up, horrah. Gas was very over -powering to begin with I couldn't breath, but then the man held it straight over me and off I went!
I came around (very very vaguely) in recovery, I do remember asking what did they find, and was told she wouldn't tell me now because I would forget! I had to keep my mask on all the time (oxygen) I kept hearing the words 'asthmatic' and I kept feeling my arm being pumped up by the blood pressure machine, I had very low blood pressure too. In recovery they took out my IV (again, didn't feel it, I was still very unconcious)
I was then moved to the ward, where Dean sat in wait for me!
I vaguely remember being sick in recovery, I took my mask off and was told to keep it on then I managed to splutter the words 'sick' and was given a bowl, as I was being sick into the bowel they were suctioning it up.. why oh why? lol.
Anyway, on the ward I said I was going to be sick again, nearly wasn't given a bowel in time but as soon as it came, I immediately sat straight up and was sick into it - I was so very ill after it.
Each time I was sick, I felt like I was peeing, which was horrible because I was still too groggy to go to the toilet, I had another kip for a while then got back up, sick again and decided I had to go to the loo. Dean came with me and helped me every step of the way. He even came into the cubicle just in case..
I got back to my bed and changed into my night clothes, the nurse then came back.
'You're 50% of the way for being discharged, as soon as you drink a cup of water without being sick you can go' I tried another small sip - but it came straight back up, Being discharged today when I was so ill seemed very unlikely.
I had another sleep and when I woke the nurse said 'Do you want some more cold water, because that cup is probably warm now?' I, being polite and like my Dad and Grampy said 'no no, it's ok thanks' Took another small sip - it stayed down. She came back again so then I agreed to a cold cup of water! I had 3-4 sips, felt sick again, then demanded Dean finished it so I had ''finished'' my drink.. oops me! When she came back I told her I'd finished it (ok, a little white lie never hurt anyone did it?) and told her I felt so very sick again.
She said she was going to look up about discharging me and I went off for another snooze or 3! She went on her tea break and another lovely nurse came to see me, wondered why I was still so groggy, patients who were operated on after me, were up and going home before me! I may of been first to have the operation, but certainly was the last to get any pain relief, - only got given that on my way home.. tut tut.
Anyway, she wondered why I was so tired and then I told her.. I said I think I possibly have Chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia - I did then say, I tell you what, check my pre-op bloods for my iron count as in the past I have had problems with that.. she did, and came back saying they were normal and fine!
Well, not an iron problem them.
I went off for another sleep and while asleep heard them discussing moving 'her' because she was unlikly to be discharged as she was still so tired and poorly.
Anyway, I got up.. sat in the chair and awaited my discharge. I was given the leaflet on the Mirena, co-dydramol to come home with (yuck!!!) she asked if I was going to get dressed and I said no, I was comfortable in my PJ's and house coat.. had no plans to get changed, barely felt able to walk let alone get changed!
Came home, cooked tea, got the boys here, dad came and had tea and after a short while left for home as he had an early day next day.
I feel in a lot of pain, discomfort and still in my PJ's! Sleeping is a bit of an issue but I am managing to!
When the boys got in, I showed them my dressings, I said the ''hair dryer that blows went in that hole'' my belly button hole - and in the other hole they had a tiny tiny camera like mummies and they had to go in to have a look..
Thursday, 23 June 2011
This blog
I'm going to try and keep this blog for my tiredness related issues, and the other abdominal pains to the separate blog.
Ok - what's been happening recently.
I went to the GP last week and voiced my concerns about my over tiredness, achy joints and in fact I gave her a complete list of what the heck is going on with me - and before I could say anything she said I was depressed.
Seriously?
I have you - I am beginning to think she doesn't believe in CFS / Fibro. She comes across as dismissive even before she read the list!
Anyway, I walked away with another prescription of anti depression tablets not that I am taking them.
I am NOT depressed.
Anyway, I am off to see another GP on Monday and she is my last resort. I now have to research rhumatologists in the area to see if she can refer me to who I want to see.
Tomorrow, we have a busy day, I need to go to the library, as well as tattoo shop, shopping and generally lots to do tomorrow, since my dizzy spells have generally got worse I will be using my crutches and for once in my life, I will not care what I look like using them.
I bought them for the SPD while I was pregnant with twins because the Gp was useless and the midwife literally couldn't get me a pair, so I went and bought some - only was so self conscious I didn't use them - I even had a mobility scooter while shopping!
Anyways, I am quite a image conscious person and it will kill me tomorrow to be seen in public with a disability aid, but needs must and all. I have to give up caring what I look like and do what's best for me - and if that is stabilizers, Oops, I mean - crutches - then so be it!
Ok - what's been happening recently.
I went to the GP last week and voiced my concerns about my over tiredness, achy joints and in fact I gave her a complete list of what the heck is going on with me - and before I could say anything she said I was depressed.
Seriously?
I have you - I am beginning to think she doesn't believe in CFS / Fibro. She comes across as dismissive even before she read the list!
Anyway, I walked away with another prescription of anti depression tablets not that I am taking them.
I am NOT depressed.
Anyway, I am off to see another GP on Monday and she is my last resort. I now have to research rhumatologists in the area to see if she can refer me to who I want to see.
Tomorrow, we have a busy day, I need to go to the library, as well as tattoo shop, shopping and generally lots to do tomorrow, since my dizzy spells have generally got worse I will be using my crutches and for once in my life, I will not care what I look like using them.
I bought them for the SPD while I was pregnant with twins because the Gp was useless and the midwife literally couldn't get me a pair, so I went and bought some - only was so self conscious I didn't use them - I even had a mobility scooter while shopping!
Anyways, I am quite a image conscious person and it will kill me tomorrow to be seen in public with a disability aid, but needs must and all. I have to give up caring what I look like and do what's best for me - and if that is stabilizers, Oops, I mean - crutches - then so be it!
Monday, 23 May 2011
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Bad few nights :(
I've been in so much pain I have been unable to sleep.
It's been usually around the 4am mark (Again!) that I have been able to fall asleep.
What causes these flare ups? I thought I had had an easy few days, what with being half term etc.
Anyways, today I have woken with a full on cold (again).
I keep sneezing, itchy throat, itchy nose & super runny nose.
My eyes are also super itchy and watery too.. stinging!
I am still on my 8 course anti biotics.. don't think they are helping at ALL but still taking them ''just in case''.
On top of all of this I think my asthma is getting bad again, can't even climb the stairs without nearly dying at the top, my heart feels like it's beating so fast and will explode.
Misery a-side I have fun in the evenings on MSN, I have a friend in particular and we have some good times together - Just the other day she called me 26.. as in the age, 26 years old.. I worked it out for a while and said 'OI, stop adding years on me love!' - She asked how old I am.. I said 25.. 'so when are you 26?'
I said, well that's besides the point but 2 weeks... haha!
I love her so much, she's one of my bessies <3 (Love ya!)
Must struggle on, as we have to go out soon... GOD, give me strength.
It's been usually around the 4am mark (Again!) that I have been able to fall asleep.
What causes these flare ups? I thought I had had an easy few days, what with being half term etc.
Anyways, today I have woken with a full on cold (again).
I keep sneezing, itchy throat, itchy nose & super runny nose.
My eyes are also super itchy and watery too.. stinging!
I am still on my 8 course anti biotics.. don't think they are helping at ALL but still taking them ''just in case''.
On top of all of this I think my asthma is getting bad again, can't even climb the stairs without nearly dying at the top, my heart feels like it's beating so fast and will explode.
Misery a-side I have fun in the evenings on MSN, I have a friend in particular and we have some good times together - Just the other day she called me 26.. as in the age, 26 years old.. I worked it out for a while and said 'OI, stop adding years on me love!' - She asked how old I am.. I said 25.. 'so when are you 26?'
I said, well that's besides the point but 2 weeks... haha!
I love her so much, she's one of my bessies <3 (Love ya!)
Must struggle on, as we have to go out soon... GOD, give me strength.
Monday, 10 January 2011
I was silly, Lol
Yesterday (9th Jan) I had a lazy morning, then come lunch time I thought I best get on, try and 'normalise' my life .. Oh what a big mistake that was.
I managed to sort the kitchen out in a record breaking hour! I felt okay, Until... I sat down.. Eek. Such a bad bad mistake! I just couldn't move my fingers let alone my legs!
I finally made a move, I had to get the children some lunch but every single step, It flippin' hurt. My ankles felt so weak, my knees, hips and arms just felt lose and felt like they were going to drop of.
I felt so weak!! Then there is the pain like I've pulled muscles in them.
I'm currently under so much pressure, I have to fight for a diagnosis for my son, first and foremost and in the mean time I just have to try and put up with it.
The other night, I feel ashamed to say this, but I wanted to end it all, suffering no more. I wanted to take more than the usual pain killers just to calm the pain, then I thought - would it matter if I took the lot? If I did die I would be free from this horrendous pain?
I try not to aim all my Facebook status'es over my condition, I try to steer well away from that, It's not as if any of my friends will know what I'm going through and how it affects me, By all means they can try to imagine, but maybe even though I match the symptoms, maybe it's just 'day to day' life with the children and the stress I am under with medical conditions such as those in my family.
Every single day I wonder if it's my last day with Meghan and that makes these feelings much worse, how can I be so selfish in ''resting'' from this condition if my daughter's about to live her last day? I feel so ashamed of myself and what I've become.
I really wouldn't wish what ever I have on anyone, It's horrible and I can honestly say I would end it all tomorrow had I not have 5 children to love.
My Life is just not worth living otherwise.
I managed to sort the kitchen out in a record breaking hour! I felt okay, Until... I sat down.. Eek. Such a bad bad mistake! I just couldn't move my fingers let alone my legs!
I finally made a move, I had to get the children some lunch but every single step, It flippin' hurt. My ankles felt so weak, my knees, hips and arms just felt lose and felt like they were going to drop of.
I felt so weak!! Then there is the pain like I've pulled muscles in them.
I'm currently under so much pressure, I have to fight for a diagnosis for my son, first and foremost and in the mean time I just have to try and put up with it.
The other night, I feel ashamed to say this, but I wanted to end it all, suffering no more. I wanted to take more than the usual pain killers just to calm the pain, then I thought - would it matter if I took the lot? If I did die I would be free from this horrendous pain?
I try not to aim all my Facebook status'es over my condition, I try to steer well away from that, It's not as if any of my friends will know what I'm going through and how it affects me, By all means they can try to imagine, but maybe even though I match the symptoms, maybe it's just 'day to day' life with the children and the stress I am under with medical conditions such as those in my family.
Every single day I wonder if it's my last day with Meghan and that makes these feelings much worse, how can I be so selfish in ''resting'' from this condition if my daughter's about to live her last day? I feel so ashamed of myself and what I've become.
I really wouldn't wish what ever I have on anyone, It's horrible and I can honestly say I would end it all tomorrow had I not have 5 children to love.
My Life is just not worth living otherwise.
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