Sick of the copy cat; so I removed it again!

Well as many of you will know a few years ago I befriended a woman known online as "Earth Mama".

In 2008, I wanted a leather suite. So I bought a leather suite, second hand.
She decided that she had to do one better than me and spent £800 on just one chair, brand new of course!

In 2009 I wanted a cheap, basic camera to take photos of Meghans Major Open Heart Surgery.
I spent £100 on a 13 MP camera. She spent over £1,000 on a dslr.

In 2010 my microwave went bang. She detested microwaves, a week later not only did she buy a microwave but exactly the same one as me!

Now in 2012 she wants a home birth... Purely because I've had two.
Years ago I unfortunately suffered five miscarriages; she's also "miscarried" and murdered her first; sorry, aborted but she classes it as a miscarriage and refers to her loss as "E-J".
Because she had so many "miscarriages" I suggested maybe she couldn't carry boys.. Low and behold she tells me in 2012 she's now had two consultants say exactly the same.
What's she pregnant with now? A boy.

This woman has already subjected her mere 20 week old baby with at least 7 ultrasound scans (4 of which were BEFORE 10th week of pregnancy).

She detests she's an "Earth Mama" blah blah blah - this "Earth Mama" who subjects her unborn baby to the chemicals in normal nail polish and now is going to use magnetic.. (Which contain iron and possibly lead). She clearly hasn't a clue on what a REAL Hippy Earth Mama does - me. Lol so I have blocked her once again and there she will stay. I am sick of her copying what I do, she's even become vegetarian purely because of me!

Urgh... Sick of women like her copying everything I do... So yes. Blocked once again and I don't give a damn.

I didn't need others to tell me about home birth or the "risks", I didn't need others to tell me how to wear my baby, Mother gently or even to compete illnesses with me.


Ahhh - rant over. Lol ;-)

It still annoys me

It still annoys me that before diagnosis of Fibromyalgia people didn't believe me and it felt like a competition who was more sick. I knew I was not ''just anemic'' and there was more to it, however no one believed me, not even the doctor.

Who are YOU to tell me you are supposidly in more pain?
Who are YOU to dismiss my pain and sufferings as something as simple as an iron defficiancy?
Who are YOU to compete with my illness?
Who are YOU to judge me and tell me 'that's how I get only 10x worse'


Since October last year I have received more than one diagnosis and together they answer the years of suffering I have endured. The Chronic Fatigue started when I was around 16 years old (maybe even before then I can't remember) the Fibromyalgia started shortly after I nearly watched my daughter pass before me and everything else is linked in with these two conditions.

Being ill isn't some kind of sick competition, well it isn't to me.
I knew there was more to my illness and I am still annoyed that you tried to make out you were the more sicker one, tried to make me out to be the copycat.

I can't understand HOW you cope with your 'conditions' the way YOU do.

This isn't just any pain, and this tiredness isn't what 'everyone gets', the tiredness is on a level you can not even comprehend and on a regular basis.


Let it be known this, I don't care WHO is in more pain. We ALL suffer and I really don't give a flying ca-hoots what is the next thing you copy me on, however I shall not offer any more sympathy to you.
You were not there for ME - why should I be there for YOU?

Not feeling all too clever..

Well, I had a fall on Thursday I think it was. I had to fall awkwardly to avoid one of the twins that was out in the kitchen with me, I heard a crunch in my wrist and the lump that comes up had come up and got tender but thankfully that's gone down again nicely. I am more concerned about my breathing and my rib. I don't feel like I can take full breaths of air anymore. I usually sleep on my left side, last night in bed I led down on my left side and felt this horrible deep, throbbing pain go right through me, from the last rib it felt like. It took me ages to roll over the pain was that intense, it was like someone had literally just put a knife through me! Anyway, breathing during the night felt uncomfortable - so when I woke I felt like I hadn't slept at all!
I got up, did things I had to do and at 11am I came back to bed to try and catch up with much-needed sleep.
Unfortunately though, I realised this morning that intensified pain + intensified fatigue can equal only one thing = Flare. I am gutted it's back to this old chestnut again. All I have eaten today is a yogurt at dinner time (6pm) again, no energy to eat even if I felt hungry. I only eat when I am hungry and I felt slightly hungry at 6pm so had a yogurt to keep me going. Usually I feel sick *touch wood* this has passed now for about 4 days, instead everything is in almost a constant spasm, twitching, cramping mode. Then the fatigue and other aches hit me Thursday. I guess you could say my symptoms got worse around Monday / Tuesday when literally every few minutes I would have a twitch, spasm or cramp. I have prodded my last left rib and can't feel bits poking out but it does feel extremely tender so I imagine I may just have internal bruising which hurts when my lungs are inflated to full capacity; explaining why I seem to be only able to shallow breath! I am being stubborn again with my pain medication too, because I am not eating well again I am not taking the tramadol (in all fairness it is only prescribed as an 'as and when' kind of thing anyway) and I am not taking the Paracetamol but I am taking Lyrica, I have increased to two twice a day, the next increased dose I will take is three twice a day. Again; these are not really affecting anything. I know these are my 'last hope' (I know there is at least one other thing we can try but long story short my gp may not prescribe it, regardless it is apparently most affective!) It was bad enough I thought she was taking the pee with the Naproxen but now these too; I am convinced I am taking part in some placebo test - NOTHING is working. My patches do well but even they don't completely take the pain away and they are mostly only helping with ibs pain, not quite strong enough to help with all the other aches and spasms. Hmm - as I wrote that my knee spasmed. I recently had a guest stay over in my bed and I was absolutely terrified of having one in bed so I slept on my back (I never sleep on my back unless I have company) I just didn't want to hurt the guest! I know from my Marriage Dean used to constantly have my knee in him, it's also part of the reason I chose to get separate beds in 2009 - that and finding out about his perverted, sick, unhealthy obsession with Internet girls ;-)
Well, I have been told I must try to inhale as deeply as I can (or I risk getting a chest infection) - the weird part of that is, I have a really bad chesty cough already, have I already been doing this shallow breathing since Thursday and not noticed it maybe? I can't imagine there is any real damage to the rib because I have still been picking the children up and on Friday I had Twin 1 on my back in the carrier quite well. I must admit it does hurt to bend and I noticed this a lot in the shower earlier, just bending over the side for the shower gel / shampoo.

I don't really have much else to say, we all know I moan (not as much as I used to, I have to admit that) but there is this one girl on my Facebook.......... My jaw just drops each time I read status updates and it's always the same thing ''If she really had a Fibro diagnosis.....'' It took me at least 3 years for my diagnosis of Fibro but I believe I have suffered with CFS since I was in my teenage years, I just thought everyone got as tired as I get. The onset of Fibro was somewhat between December 2008 - March 2009. These months are the hardest I have ever had to live through, although I think any Mother would feel the same if they nearly watched their 8 month old daughter die in front of their eyes? I am haunted by the fact my daughter is as ill as she is, she certainly doesn't look as ill as she is. Every day I wake up wondering if today's the day she needs to be rushed into hospital, I wonder if today's my last day with her, whether I have been too busy in housework that I have missed her 'HELP' signs that her valve is failing, or even something more serious. It worries every minute of every day - I wonder if there are any other mothers out there with children like mine that don't worry this much? Perhaps its normal to panic every minute of every day? Perhaps its normal to go in to your daughter who is fast asleep during the night, not see her chest inflate and deflate and then put your hand by her mouth / nose - if you can't feel anything you call out her name and almost shake her, before you realise all is well and she is fast asleep. You kiss her tiny head, apologise and let her sleep on. I don't think my anxiety is helped by the fact I bought her two pulse oximeters and stupidly both went missing prior to my departure from the marital home and both are now in my ex-Husbands' possession and I can't even keep track of her oxygen saturation levels.
Is it fair that my little precious girl has a life of uncertainty ahead of her? Is it fair she nearly lost her life due to her CHD? Is it even fair she is paying for my mistakes one way or another? I can't answer any of those questions, all I can do is to apologise to her. I made her, her tiny heart formed only 18 days after conception and for that I am responsible. No one else is to blame but me. I inflicted this pain and suffering onto my daughter and I hope that one day she forgives me for what she has had to live with and what the future has in store for her.

And as you can tell, what Fibro flare wouldn't be complete with out depressive states of mind? I must sign off of here before some of you think I am totally do-lally - but then my bestest friends are reading this knowing I already am and have been for many many years ;-)

Until next time................. Over & Out.

A quick little update from yours truly...

Well it's definitely been a while since I posted on here hasn't it?

Ok - let's bring my followers up to speed.

I ended my Marriage this March ('12) and ever since my FMS has improved dramatically. I think my friends have breathed more than a sigh of relief, Even I look back and think to myself 'Was I really that ill?' It's hard to focus on my life before I left the Marriage. Friends have even gone so far as saying if I had stayed there any longer it would of greatly endangered my life in doing so.
I actually left a day earlier than planned, I saw an opportunity and grabbed it.
I just want to re-thank all my fantastic friends who helped me escape the living hell that had become my life. You've ALL made my life so much better, yes yes I did the changes and I have my own hard work, pain and tears to thank for getting out BUT I won't ever forget the fantastic advice I was given, numerous Internet links, telephone numbers and cuddles from local friends.
I will be very vague as to why I left but believe me; one day very soon I will air it ALL to 'heal' myself. All I do is chew it over in my brain and ask myself what I did wrong to be treated like that? Did I really deserve all the hurt that Life has thrown at me, regardless of what I was recently going through? Even when I had professional advice about my life at that moment I still found it hard to accept, why? Why did the Strong-minded Sonia change? Why did I settle for a man who clearly never loved me? Why did I chose to reproduce with the sporn of Satan? Even I can't answer many of these questions.
I do realise my self-worth now, maybe I never had any in the first place? I am still seriously considering publishing a book with all the things I have endured during my life.

I still get exhausted and I still have the odd flare but it is a far cry from how I was prior to leaving. I still have days where everything hurts and I just want to break down and cry - but now I am a single Mother and if I don't do it, no one will. I HAVE to work through the pain, spasms, cramps and tears. Come rain or shine, it's only me now - I depend on myself, my children depend on ME and ME only.

(Yes, at the moment we have a tricky situation where the girls are with their sperm donor, and I am awaiting a Custody Trial to get them back, but I still have the 2 boys, both whom I suspect to have SEN and ASD).

I have noticed something quite recent, I have never been one with a huge appetite and I would only have one meal a day prior to leaving, but just recently I have had zero appetite. After suffering some friendly bashing from Friends I thought there has to be more to this. A quick search revealed that 'loss of appetite' is another thing linked to Fibro. I only eat when I am hungry. I actually did a cooked lunch today and that was scrummy, but I had only a little bit, I soon became very full up.
I think that Food in itself affects me, it's not just the fact I don't feel hungry, I think some of this not wanting to eat is coming from how I was treated prior to leaving. I don't eat meat and meat would be hidden in my meals, when I discovered it I would throw up violently, and even though I cook and make meals now part of me still wonders if meat can get into it by mistake, it is irrational thinking and I know it. You hear all these stories, mice being found in loaves of bread etc and the 'may contain nuts' on many products, part of me is wondering if people are hiding meat into their products. It is crazy thinking and I am always going to have trust issues with everyone, I have to learn how to trust people again. Weird how ONE MOUSE can do all this to one woman.

I feel highly empowered that I got away when I did and ended the dead marriage. I am a free woman (to a certain extent) and I can be myself again, I am no longer being dictated what to do, how to do it and being treated like a child.

If you're reading this and you're a long standing friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and you'll also know just how much I like to help others; I would love to volunteer to help other women in the same situation as I found myself in. I need to make a difference and I need to help these vulnerable women. I still feel very vulnerable, living alone but maybe one day I will stand up for myself and feel strong again.

Never under-estimate your friends, I am still really sad that I had to leave one of my best friends behind. She's recently had her baby (I was going to be at the birth for her), we have been through a lot together and I really miss her and her family. I hope that one day we will be living near each other soon, or at least I can be able to get over to her as and when I want to.

My life IS looking up despite the Trial hanging over me and despite the constant illness that's plaguing me at the moment (I suspect this is stress-related) but I have a special someone in my life and it is going well for me. He means the world to me; and again I won't go into too much detail - you never know who's reading. ;)

Anyway, over and out. Until next time :)

My Mattress arrived!

So yeah - Last week I ordered an 8" thick Memory Foam Mattress and two Memory Foam Pillows.
It came yesterday (Monday) and although it was big and heavy for me to get upstairs, I managed.
With Memory Foam you have to let it ''air'' for a fair few hours, so I had to wait until bed-time to try it out.

Here's a photo of it, I have decided to KEEP the old mattress on the bottom, just to make the bed that bit higher and more accessible for me to get in and out of.
I have also got my electric blanket - Just in case I have a bad Raynauds attack in bed.

I slept well, there's no real way to describe being 'cradled like a baby' feeling. I felt my body was supported and the Memory Foam pillows definitely made a huge difference too. 

I was aware that it was becoming light outside and worried that I had over slept I reached for my iPhone and saw that in fact it was only 06:50am and I still had a few minutes left before the alarm called me.

I definitely don't regret this purchase (even though it came with a hefty price tag). They are worth every single penny for a Fibromyalgia sufferer such as myself. 

Before buying it I had read reviews on it, my Grampy's sister (who's 90 odd) had one and had to call her daughter to help her out of it because she gets so stiff and she got stuck - it worried me because I get stiff too. Others said that they were 'cold people' but it just got too hot... - With the Raynauds Phenomenon I welcome any warmth ;)

This morning it's raining and my knee feels sore but it not giving way (yet!) which is always a bonus. I really have to chase up the doctors and get seen by all the specialists that are involved in my care.

As you know, I'm not one to always go to the doctors, but this needs to be sorted out. I need to manage my FMS (and all other conditions) better than I am doing, for the sake of my children at least.

Well, that's all from me. 

I've fallen in love... with another song..

So yeah, for those who know me personally, I am more of a music listener than TV watcher. I've always listened to the radio when I was growing up, and now Apple created iTunes I haven't been able to stop purchasing music since. Long gone are the days of pressing record when the DJ has introduced the song and quickly pressing it before they interrupt at the end of the song!

So, what's the song now? I hear you ask.

It's The Script ~ The End Where I Begin. (Click the text to go to a youtube video of the song, with lyrics).

As many of you'll know I have just ended a near 8 year marriage (nearly 10 years with him in total).

I think this song describes it all perfectly.

''Sometimes tears say all there is to saySometimes your first scars won't ever fade away
Tried to break my heart
Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high
Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me
Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin



It's the end where I begin
It's the end where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away
Tried to break my heart
Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high
Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me
Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

It's the end where I begin
It's the end where I begin

Now I'm alive
and my ghosts are gone
I've shed all the pain
I've been holding on
The cure for a heart
Is to move along, is to move along
So move along
[X3]
What don't kill a heart
Only makes it strong

It's the End where I
End where I
End where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away''

For me, it's singing about the tears I've shed along the years, clinging onto a love-less Marriage to a man who only ever wanted to hurt me. It's singing about trying to break my heart - and it broke. 

It's the end where I begin - When I left him.

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes, sometimes we've got no choice but to walk away - I certainly did that. 

About half way through the song, it's like the present moment in time. 

Now I'm alive and my ghosts are gone, I've shed all the pain I've been holding on, The cure for a heart is to move along - How true those words are.

It is incredibly hard to admit that the marriage had been dead for many many years, I don't know how long he had been unfaithful to me for, it only ever came to light just after I'd fallen pregnant with the twins.

It's not my fault the marriage ended, the only thing I did was walk away, knowing that the damage he caused to the marriage had caused it to irretrievably break down.

I am now going through divorce proceedings and hope to be a free woman by the end of this year. 

What more is there to say? He had his chance, he had me for 10 long years (or thereabouts) he can now hang his head up high and admit to two failed marriages. 

It's been a while since I've been this tired - I admit that. Fibro is getting me down a fair bit too, but I refuse to let it win - however I am incredibly close to giving up. I'm just so tired, the weather isn't helping one bit either. 

Improvement but suffering with more muscle spasms

It's been getting progressively worse now for a week or two but I have noticed I am doing a lot of nervous twitches / spasms in my legs at night. I am very glad I am not co-sleeping. The sudden movement is very vicious and as I am about to get off into sleep, brings me back round.

Anyway, I woke today (Saturday) feeling refreshed, and without the need to eat I managed to make a really good start on my bedroom. But I did so so much then crashed on the bed, slumped and unable to move for quite some time. When I did muster up some energy I went downstairs for something to eat (6pm) and returned back upstairs at 10pm when my energy sources were past reserve. Since then I have tossed and turned and just can not get off to sleep, despite being past exhausted.
My bones are quite achy. I feel like I am burning up too.

I am expecting my condition to improve over the next few weeks, I am dumping a lot of stress so here's hoping my conditions improves somewhat.
Fingers crossed!

Last few days have been HELL

So, I am having a bad day today. I had a bad day yesterday too. Some things are just not changing.
Yesterday I woke with a dull pain in my legs, and felt it was going to rain. An hour or so later we had a huge down pour.
Today, Everything hurts. It has now gone very dull, so I presume about to rain - again.
I managed to only get off to sleep at 7am this morning, I have the Facebook links and statuses to prove it too.
I must of finally got off around half 7am and then I had 4 hours sleep and managed to get up at 11:30am.
I woke but didn't want to get out of bed; however I want to break the cycle of my sleeping patterns so I have dragged myself out of bed today. Some may think this is an easy task. Not for me I can assure you.
I have had to buy myself an electronically adjusting bed - just to help me get in / out of bed.
I had a very weird experience yesterday morning (Monday 23rd) I had settled down to go to sleep and the next thing I knew I was sweating profusely and I felt very weird. My left eye was completely shut, my right eye half open but I couldn't open it any more. I was unable to move and paralysed. I was unable to call out as well. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience and in particular it felt like I was about to pass away.
It was *VERY* scary and something I do not wish to repeat.
I wasn't scared at first but the longer it went on, the more scared I got.

Anyway, with other recent news, My mobility scooter is on eBay. I am still using my manual wheelchair to assist me in the kitchen, I have been able to unload and load the dishwasher and cook meals.
I did try to use this manual wheelchair out and about locally, when we had to go to the bank to sort out paperwork. However, by the time I reached the ticket machine I knew it was a very bad idea and had to send my husband back to the minibus to get my scooter out instead. I propped myself up against a wall, head in my hands in so much pain, discomfort and fatigue ripping through every bone and muscle in my body. A lovely local lady came over to help, asked if I was ok - This is the first time someone has offered me help while I am in this much pain; even my husband doesn't offer.
So you see, there are some good mannered and sensitive people out there, the world isn't always full of non-believers and imitations.

I have nothing else to add, apart from this lovely; but true poem.
I did not write this, therefore can not take credit for it.
It describes my life and condition easily, But please remember - I have many conditions. FMS is just ONE of them.







I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in October 2011 and have suffered from at least 2008.
I suffer from so many associated symptoms.


What You Should Know About Me
1. My pain – My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I can not work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.


2. My fatigue – I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can’t. Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall yesterday, but I can’t help you with yard work today, it isn’t because I don’t want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles beyond their capability.


3. My forgetfulness – Those of us who suffer from it call it Fibrofog. I may not remember your name, but I remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you just told me seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do not have selective memory. On some days, I just do not have any short-term memory at all.


4. My clumsiness – If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control for that. If you are on the stairs behind me, please be patient. These days, I take life and stairwells one step at a time.


5. My sensitivities – I just can’t stand it! “It” could be any number of things; bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odours. FMS has been called “the aggravating everything disorder”. So don’t make me open the curtains or listen to your child scream. I really can’t stand it.


6. My intolerance – I can’t stand heat either. Or humidity. If I am a man I sweat....profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally embarrassing, so please don’t feel compelled to point this shortcoming out to me. I know. And don’t be surprised of I shake uncontrollably when it’s cold. I don’t tolerate cold either. My internal thermostat is broken, and nobody knows how to fix it.


7. My depression – Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. Severe, unrelenting pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.


8. My stress – My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my job, work part-time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I’m not lazy. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.






9. My weight – I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by choice. My body is not your body. My appestat is broken and nobody knows how to fix it.

I am still alive - Just

I seem to be ignoring my blogs a lot recently. I can assure you this is beyond my control. I have been going through some rigorous medical examinations, testing and operations in the last few months.
D'ya even know what? I can't even remember if I blogged about my operation in September?
Anyway, after surgery I tried the medically induced menopause route. The first month worked wonders. I then bled for 23 days following my FIRST smear test. The second months injection sadly took no effect though.

Each time I see my doctor she says I am getting worse and although of course, I already know this, to hear it from a respected medical professional, well it opens your eyes just how bad you get really. 
She was really upset when I saw her a week or so ago, a generally concerned feel about her.  She told me that with the gynae problems still undiagnosed and no logical route to diagnose through the out come would be probably the removal of my whole woman-hood.
I will not get all funky - hippy and comment about how that would of made me feel. Instead I will tell you, thankfully - she was wrong.
There was times of course, when I screamed ''just take it all out, I've had enough'' EVEN THOUGH I want more children later on in life - if my health lets me.
Anyway, a quick consultation with the gynaecologist and he told me I had NO gynae problems. This was IBS.
Now, no Sonia-Story is that straight forward is it? No.
Well - Do you remember for at least a whole year now I have had abnormal blood results? Showing a raised CRP level (That is a sign of inflammation / infection).
This level is STILL raised, and as far as I know, IBS does NOT cause inflammation. However - Doctors generally do mis-diagnose Coeliac disease with IBS - SO, maybe just so - it's the coeliac disease.

Time will tell - all I can say is that I am now grateful I am on medication to stop the terrible spasms. The only down fall, is at the moment with my asthma flare I am on close to TWENTY tablets a day!

There are so many pieces to my puzzle I get so tired relaying it on my blog.

I am also having blood pressure issues, while she was testing she was in disbelief. But in all fairness and credit to me - Being in pain DOES raise your blood pressure.
You see, when I say I am tired and in pain - I mean it. 

Unless you can walk a mile (or even a minute) in my shoes, you will sadly not even come close to understanding.
Don't get me wrong - I have a few fantastic friends and one locally and she is my rock, if I am having a particularly bad day I can go to hers and 'unwind', talk to her about my woes - she does the same too. We help each other. 
At the moment, I only feel there are two people I can open up to with ALL my worries and she is one.
It is no hidden fact I am in an unhappy marriage and I have been for some time. It's already breaking my heart thinking about a life without her. The other person, has been in my life since 2008, just after Meghan was born. She and her family have prayed for Meghan through surgery and I haven't shook her off since ;)
She is always here (on the computer and at the end of the phone) with superb advice and we have a great laugh too. 
I need to take a few steps back and really realise what I want here - Do I want to leave or do I need to fight for this house? Can I really justify fighting for this house, keeping my children at a shit school, keeping my health and my children's health in the same surgery that have such useless male doctors, even the new Locum is equally as shit.
He was in the same room when the Rhumatologist finally diagnosed my FMS, CFS and Raynauds. Yet only 2 weeks later he denied hearing the Raynauds diagnosis. (I wanted tablets to improve my blood circulation as I was going camping in the caravan).
I love her to bits, I love that despite that druggy prossie living next to us and splitting our friendship a year ago - that we managed to re-build it and if anything, we have built it so much stronger now. No prostitute will ever split our friendship and friends like these are in-valuable. 
I want to be here for her and the birth of her child, heck this is what I want my career in for goodness sake, Natural pregnancy, birthing and breast-feeding - all of which my best friend will be doing in only months time from now. I want to be here for her - I have the best knowledge to hand, I know the best techniques - I want to do this, not just for me but for her. I want to ensure she gets the best support available and I strongly believe that support is ME.
My facebook natural parenting page is approaching 700 members. 


Anyway, I shall end it here. I will update this once I have seen the rhummy on Wednesday - I have a list as long as my arm to speak to him about. More importantly, I want to be accepted on this 'Fibromyalgia Coping Skills' Course. I want to learn to manage my conditions better and I want to get a grip with it, before it takes my everything.


Keep warm and keep well.