I seem to be ignoring my blogs a lot recently. I can assure you this is beyond my control. I have been going through some rigorous medical examinations, testing and operations in the last few months.
D'ya even know what? I can't even remember if I blogged about my operation in September?
Anyway, after surgery I tried the medically induced menopause route. The first month worked wonders. I then bled for 23 days following my FIRST smear test. The second months injection sadly took no effect though.
Each time I see my doctor she says I am getting worse and although of course, I already know this, to hear it from a respected medical professional, well it opens your eyes just how bad you get really.
She was really upset when I saw her a week or so ago, a generally concerned feel about her. She told me that with the gynae problems still undiagnosed and no logical route to diagnose through the out come would be probably the removal of my whole woman-hood.
I will not get all funky - hippy and comment about how that would of made me feel. Instead I will tell you, thankfully - she was wrong.
There was times of course, when I screamed ''just take it all out, I've had enough'' EVEN THOUGH I want more children later on in life - if my health lets me.
Anyway, a quick consultation with the gynaecologist and he told me I had NO gynae problems. This was IBS.
Now, no Sonia-Story is that straight forward is it? No.
Well - Do you remember for at least a whole year now I have had abnormal blood results? Showing a raised CRP level (That is a sign of inflammation / infection).
This level is STILL raised, and as far as I know, IBS does NOT cause inflammation. However - Doctors generally do mis-diagnose Coeliac disease with IBS - SO, maybe just so - it's the coeliac disease.
Time will tell - all I can say is that I am now grateful I am on medication to stop the terrible spasms. The only down fall, is at the moment with my asthma flare I am on close to TWENTY tablets a day!
There are so many pieces to my puzzle I get so tired relaying it on my blog.
I am also having blood pressure issues, while she was testing she was in disbelief. But in all fairness and credit to me - Being in pain DOES raise your blood pressure.
You see, when I say I am tired and in pain - I mean it.
Unless you can walk a mile (or even a minute) in my shoes, you will sadly not even come close to understanding.
Don't get me wrong - I have a few fantastic friends and one locally and she is my rock, if I am having a particularly bad day I can go to hers and 'unwind', talk to her about my woes - she does the same too. We help each other.
At the moment, I only feel there are two people I can open up to with ALL my worries and she is one.
It is no hidden fact I am in an unhappy marriage and I have been for some time. It's already breaking my heart thinking about a life without her. The other person, has been in my life since 2008, just after Meghan was born. She and her family have prayed for Meghan through surgery and I haven't shook her off since ;)
She is always here (on the computer and at the end of the phone) with superb advice and we have a great laugh too.
I need to take a few steps back and really realise what I want here - Do I want to leave or do I need to fight for this house? Can I really justify fighting for this house, keeping my children at a shit school, keeping my health and my children's health in the same surgery that have such useless male doctors, even the new Locum is equally as shit.
He was in the same room when the Rhumatologist finally diagnosed my FMS, CFS and Raynauds. Yet only 2 weeks later he denied hearing the Raynauds diagnosis. (I wanted tablets to improve my blood circulation as I was going camping in the caravan).
I love her to bits, I love that despite that druggy prossie living next to us and splitting our friendship a year ago - that we managed to re-build it and if anything, we have built it so much stronger now. No prostitute will ever split our friendship and friends like these are in-valuable.
I want to be here for her and the birth of her child, heck this is what I want my career in for goodness sake, Natural pregnancy, birthing and breast-feeding - all of which my best friend will be doing in only months time from now. I want to be here for her - I have the best knowledge to hand, I know the best techniques - I want to do this, not just for me but for her. I want to ensure she gets the best support available and I strongly believe that support is ME.
My facebook natural parenting page is approaching 700 members.
Anyway, I shall end it here. I will update this once I have seen the rhummy on Wednesday - I have a list as long as my arm to speak to him about. More importantly, I want to be accepted on this 'Fibromyalgia Coping Skills' Course. I want to learn to manage my conditions better and I want to get a grip with it, before it takes my everything.
Keep warm and keep well.
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